Jaclyn Friedman is this generation’s version of Dr. Ruth—young, sassy, direct, and so very wise.
–Lyn Mikel Brown, Ed.D., Co-founder of SPARK and Professor of Education and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, Colby College
Jaclyn Friedman is whip-smart and unafraid to boldly confront difficult issues, and she does it all with an all-too-rare with a warmth and humor that make her ideally suited to a wide variety of audiences.
-Lisa Jervis, co-founder, Bitch Magazine
Every college student (male and female) in the universe should hear Jaclyn speak at orientation—not to mention high schoolers and all pre-teens! I’ve just never seen a book that talks about sexual assault and girls and feminism with so much candor and smarts and (fun!) and authentic feeling—it’s like the conversations my smartest best friends have had over dinner parties. Thank you for lighting this fire under feminism!
-Emily Meghan Morrow Howe, Program Administrator, MIT Program in Women’s & Gender Studies
Jaclyn Friedman is one of our preeminent cultural critics. She casts an eagle eye (or gimlet eye) over American society, and, with humor, dissects and skewers our culture. But underneath the engaging humor and satire is Friedman’s basic humanity that teaches us that we can create a more just society with opportunity for all. Friedman was our distinguished lecturer this past February and we could have listened to her all day. She was simply mesmerizing.
-Jody Raphael, Visiting Professor, DePaul University College of Law
Finally! The questions that linger in everyone’s heads – but they just can’t say out loud – get some answers. Jaclyn Friedman honestly and dynamically tackles the controversial topic of sexual consent. Her thorough exploration of the confusion surrounding the controversy is much-needed and much-appreciated especially by women’s organizations who’ve been having this conversation for decades. Friedman offers a fresh perspective that is a must-hear!
-Lindsey Horvath, CA NOW Young Feminist Vice President
Jaclyn Friedman is absolutely brilliant! Her approach to issues of sexual assault is unapologetically honest, refreshingly hilarious, revolutionary, and totally empowering. The concept of enthusiastic consent could change the world. No exaggeration necessary. It’s that good.
-Ruby Aliment, Loyola University
I have never seen such a diverse group of students, administration, and faculty in the same room nodding their heads at the same points and laughing at the same points. Jaclyn hits at the root of issues and does not tip-toe around subjects that need to be addressed, such as hookups, alcohol, gender dynamics, school policies, and rape culture. Her message particularly resonated with men who were tired of hearing, “no means no” and that “every male is a potential rapist.” When men hear that they can have better sex and help stop rape culture by using enthusiastic consent, they listen.
-Alex Mann, University of Puget Sound
What People Say About What You Really Really Want
In a world full of Pussycat Dolls and virginity pledges, What You Really Really Want carves out a path for real women to have real sex on their own terms. The information and exercises in this book have the power to change your sex life for good.
Don’t have sex before you read this book! With her usual wit and candor, Jaclyn Friedman writes a manual for sex that teaches, engages, surprises and – most importantly – puts the reader in charge. What You Really, Really Want will change the way a generation thinks (and acts!) about sex.
–Jessica Valenti, founder of Feministing.com and author/editor of four books, including The Purity Myth
Jaclyn Friedman’s new guide — detailed, intelligent, and fun as hell to read — is a sorely needed addition to my bookshelf. Think of it as the anti-Cosmopolitan: A 21st century primer on fearlessly discovering and owning your sexuality while staying true to yourself without cutesy gimmicks, absurd tips and patronizing assumptions. It’s not an understatement to say that I wish What You Really Really Want had been around when I was first coming into adulthood. Actually scratch that: It’s as relevant to me now that I’m in my late 30s as it would have been in my late teens. Everyone can benefit from Jaclyn’s personable, progressive perspective on female sexuality and feminism.
-Anna Holmes, Washington Post columnist and founder of Jezebel.com
“Activist writers Friedman and Valenti present an extraordinary, eye-opening essay collection that focuses on the importance of sexual identity and ownership in the struggle against rape in the U.S., as well as a number of related issues, including sexual pleasure and the mixed societal messages that turn “nice guys” bad.”
-Publishers’ Weekly: Selected as one of the Top 100 Books of 2009
“Utopian novels have grappled with with the idea of a world without rape, but what would the path to that world look like? The controversial essays that make up Yes Means Yes light the way along this very rough road and, not surprisingly, offer no easy solutions. It speaks volumes that in the 21st century we still need this anthology to explain whose fault it is when a young woman who agrees to make-out with her boyfriend ends up raped.”
“An illuminating and inspiring exploration of the relationship between valuing female sexual pleasure and putting an end to rape. This is a book that could change the world.”
– Jean Kilbourne, author of Can’t Buy My Love, So Sexy So Soon, & creator of the film series Killing Us Softly