United Nations trainer and MTV host Francisco Ramirez travels the globe making the world safer for sexual pleasure, then (once he explains the numerous dildos in his bag to customs) dispenses free sex advice in NYC’s parks and streets.
Jaclyn talks with him about making the impossible possible, misinterpreting the hanky code, how he became the hero he needed, and the deep magic of being vulnerable with strangers. Plus some creative advice for a listener whose first love just ghosted. –
Jaclyn is joined by Tristan Taormino to answer this one once and for all. After that, we talk about why the question itself can be anti-feminist, what fantasies are for, why there is so much silence around them, and what happens when you ask a panel of porn producers, performers and scholars what they watch to get off. Oh, and we get really personal, and a little meta. Plus: advice for a listener who wants exploring a fetish but lacks the privacy or resources to do so.–
When I saw the headline “Toronto to host massive orgy for disabled people,” I knew I had to get the actual story. Luckily, Andrew Morrison-Gurza and Stella Palikarova consented to tell me all about the #DeliciouslyDisabled sex party they’re planning, plus dirty puns, penis art, pity sex, courtesy stigma, and how they’re changing the conversation about sex and disability from risk to pleasure. Plus: advice for sex party n00bs like me, and, in a Yes Means Yes Show first, one of us gets hit on by a hottie while recording the podcast.–
Why did a group of women of color who’d never met before feel the need to form a new organization on top of their already-busy lives and careers? Two of the leaders of the Women of Color Sexual Health Network, Mariotta Gary-Smith and Aida Manduley, are on hand to explain. We talk community, white supremacy, passing privilege, the real meaning of allyship, dadbods, male tears, self-care and more. Then we help out a listener who wants to help a friend feel better about herself.
What is it about period sex? Jaclyn gets into it up to her elbows with legendary psychotherapist, author, and sexuality educator JoAnn Loulan. Tune in for pink towels (and pink bathwater), squishiness, finger painting, Oxiclean, patriarchy, deal breakers, and straight-up science on why period sex can be the best sex or the worst. Then we help out a listener who wants more from his girlfriend, both in terms of sex and communication.
NEW NAME, SAME GREAT TASTE! FWF is now The Yes Means Yes Show, the better to get ourselves listed in and promoted by iTunes. Which got us to thinking: why are so many companies such buttinskies about sex-related expression online and off, and what are the consequences of the shushing?
Host Jaclyn Friedman talks with Matie Fricker, owner of Albuquerque’s best sex shop, Self Serve Toys, about the terrible spectre of vulva videos, Facebook’s ban on talking about pleasure, and how hard it is for Self Serve to get basic services like banking. (Oh, and very briefly, we rag on One Direction. ::ducks::) Then we offer some practical advice to a listener who wants to DIY sex supplies at home.
Recently, actress Jemima Kirke posted a video in support of the Center for Reproductive Rights’ Draw the Line campaign, in which she talked about having an abortion. Kirke’s frank story inspired an article in the Daily Beast arguing that we shouldn’t focus on people telling their abortion stories, because it doesn’t change policy.
The ensuing brouhaha left me with a lot of questions, so I asked the brilliant Renee Bracey Sherman to help me understand the power and purpose of abortion storytelling, and what it was like to tell her own story so publicly for Fusion earlier this year. And then we helped out a listener with some advice about consent and setting boundaries with a friend.
It’s not like we haven’t had a few genius guests on Fucking While Feminists before. But we’ve never had a certified MacArthur Genius. Until now.
The brilliant Sarah Deer was recognized with a MacArthur grant in the most recent 2014 class, and for good reason: her work leveraging her deep understanding of tribal and federal law to empower tribal nations to protect Native American women from sexual and domestic violence is literally changing the world. She joins Jaclyn to talk about how colonial misogyny against Native women became one of the pillars on which our country is built, what we can learn from pre-colonial tribal justice practices about 21st century adjudication of sexual violence, and what happens after you get that call from MacArthur. Then we help out a listener who uses “bad” words, but only in her head.
Like, what do words mean anyhow when it comes to sex and gender?
Transgender artist and educator and all around delightful person Rebecca Kling joins Jaclyn to answer a listener’s thorny question about how any of us know what it feels like to be a woman, what sexuality & gender ideas we wish there was better language for and which words we love the most, That’s What She Said jokes, the f-bomb and more. Then we help a listener out with that funny feeling when what you believe and what turns you on don’t line up. Oh, and there’s pudding!
Not a lot to note this week, but don’t forget to send us your favorite and least favorite words for sex and gender things, and the things you wish there were words for! Tweet @jaclynf & @RebeccaKling, or email Jaclyn at [email protected]
::SNIFF:: Tonight we honorary Pawneeans say goodbye to the giant-hearted band of misfits we’ve come to know and love lo these seven seasons (ok, six if you skipped Season One) on Parks and Recreation. Join Jaclyn & Robin “Miss Conduct” Abrahams as they ease the pain as best as they can and trade their legs for angel’s wings in this episode about the politics of sex & relationships on Parks & Rec.